Understanding the Amish Dowry
The Amish people are probably one of the most structured and tradition-driven societies that still exist in America today. They live their lives pretty much the same way their ancestors lived hundreds of years ago. Through their shunning of society and its modern conveniences, the Amish choose to do things their own way, no matter how difficult it may be. It is through their strong connection to the traditional way of doing things that the Amish manage to remain a strong, close-knit, sheltered community that barely changes over time. From birth to death, the Amish live a simple life that is handed down to them from generation to generation. Because the Amish apply the old ways of life to their everyday activities, they remain closely connected to their traditions, particularly when it comes to marriage and family.
Among the many traditions that keep the Amish community strong, that of marriage and the preparation of marriage, remains one of the most important things that a young Amish girl or boy must consider. Starting in their teens, Amish girls and boys start looking for their future marriage partner. Amish teenagers date during this time in very much the same way that other teenagers date. They get together on Saturday nights with the other teenagers of the community and take buggy rides, play games, or just spend time getting to know each other. Amish teenagers are allowed to choose whoever they want to date, as long as they’re Amish, and are given a fair amount of freedom during the process. Once a couple begins dating exclusively, it is usually an indication that they will eventually choose to announce their impending wedding.
Once a wedding date is set, the entire Amish community prepares for the event. All Amish daughters are given what is considered a wedding dowry once they marry. The parents of an Amish girl may have been collecting items in preparation for the dowry over many years in anticipation for her wedding day, or might begin gathering these dowry items once a wedding date has been set. The Amish pride themselves on practicality, so most Amish dowry items consist of useful items the bride and groom will use on a daily basis in their new life together. This generally includes items such as dishware, kerosene lamps, linens, clocks, canned foods, and farming tools. The Amish bride’s parents are responsible for providing the major furnishings that will be used in the newlywed’s new home. This might include major kitchen appliances, such as a refrigerator and stove, all the bedroom furniture, a dining room table, hutch, and cupboard, as well as other household goods. These items are often handmade or purchased new. These larger dowry items are rarely handed down over generations and are usually auctioned off once the couple dies in order to give their children an equal opportunity to purchase the items rather than being willed to them.
Upon hearing the announcement of a wedding ceremony, the Amish women of the community will begin making special Amish quilts for the newlyweds. The bride’s mother will usually make a very special Amish quilt for the bride to take to her new home. This special quilt is often called a Sunday Best quilt and will only be used or displayed in the bride’s new home on special occasions. This is because the bride’s family will put such care and detail into this special Amish quilt that it is seen as more of an expression of the love the family has for the bride rather than something that is to be used every day. In addition to this very special quilt, the mother of the bride might also make a comforter as well as additional Amish quilts, depending on her particular quilting abilities. Another Amish family tradition consists of the bride’s grandmother piecing together a quilt, but not finishing it, so the bride can complete it herself. This symbolizes the fact that the bride is now the head of her own household and the passing down of family traditions for her to now pass on to her daughters and granddaughters.
Young Amish girls also prepare for their lives with their future husbands and children by saving items in a hope chest. Many Amish fathers will make their daughters cedar hope chests for them to store away items in preparation for their wedding day. This may include treasured family linens, other handmade Amish quilts, or other gifts that have been given over the years, such as at Christmas, and saved in the hope chest for the day she will become a wife.
Once the wedding day arrives, guests will bring a few small gifts to the newlywed couple on the day of the wedding, but most of the gift giving takes place over the next couple of weeks or months. Most weddings take place in the late fall, after the harvest period, and newlywed couples will live with the bride’s family until the following spring where they will find or build a house of their own. During this time, the newly married Amish couple will visit family members homes in order to become better acquainted with each other. They might stay for a few days or weeks, depending on the closeness of the family member, and it’s at this time that more wedding gifts will be given to the couple as they move from house to house over the next few weeks. They will be presented with the usual gifts of necessity, as well as more handmade Amish quilts or other goods.
It is these traditions that keep the Amish as unified today as they have been for generations. From the tradition of the dowry, to the making of special Amish quilts, to the unity that is felt by the whole community as new couples commit their lives together, these traditions are the glue that keep the Amish strong.
